


I'll be there for you

by honeydeww12



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: After Steven's breakdown, Dissociation, F/M, Implied Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Recovery, Steven Universe - Freeform, Steven Universe Future, connie maheswaran - Freeform, dissociation episode, steven has a smart watch!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:26:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23538328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeydeww12/pseuds/honeydeww12
Summary: Please read tags!They were binge watching one of their favorite TV shows when he started feeling it. The buzzing in his ears, the warm numbness around his body, his breathing slowing down."You okay?" He heard Connie say and he thinks he nodded. This happened sometimes. It was consistent but different. Where his mind left his body and hours would pass without him knowing. He was grateful that Connie was there. She was always there
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 5
Kudos: 76





	I'll be there for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone
> 
> I wrote a quick little something about Steven and his time during recovery. SUF hit me a little hard and this is my way of making me feel a little better!  
> I wrote this based off of my experiences with dissociation and I do want to say that everyone experiences it differently
> 
> Hope ya'll are staying safe and doing well!  
> Thanks for reading!

Sometimes Steven dissociated. 

“I think….mmm”  
Steven shook his head and laid it on Connie’s shoulder.  
“You okay?”  
Steven rubbed his face with his hands and groaned again.  
“You okay Steven?” Connie put her arm around him and ran her fingers through his hair.  
“I...mmm..yeah I’m okay…”  
“You sure?”  
They were currently on the couch binge watching one of their favorite TV shows, Under the Knife. The entire series had recently been added to all streaming platforms for a limited time and so Connie had rushed over, her father's Netflix account on her phone and had snuggled up to Steven to begin watching it from the beginning. Somewhere in episode twenty-four season two though Steven started feeling a bit...weird.  
Like almost lost. Floaty.  
He’s experienced this before. After his melt down and sometimes before or after therapy sessions or whenever he felt extremely stressed. He would feel..floaty. He felt the buzzing in his ears getting louder, when did that start? The voices from the TV show were beginning to merge together, murmuring softly. His body felt..too soft, numb, like an overly warm blanket was hugging him, pushing down on his throat.  
“..mmmmmm..” He groaned again and rubbed his head against Connie’s neck, tried to hide his face, pushing his body into her smaller side, “Sorry...”  
“It’s okay Steven, take your time...do you want me to change the show?”  
It took awhile to answer, to process what she had said. He forced himself to look at his watch to check the time, Connie gently placed his hand on her lap to make it easier. 3:05 pm. Connie was always looking out for him. Always being so good and supportive. “Maybe...” He finally said.  
He felt himself getting warmer and so so floaty. He noticed some light scratching on his left hand and tried to focus. It felt nice. But he just felt so floaty. 

It was like his body sprang to life a moment later. Like everything came at once, like he could breathe again.  
“Steven?”  
Steven slowly moved out of Connie’s hold, and looked outside. The air in the house was cool, the window they had opened letting in some much needed sea air. The sky that was once bright blue had turned to dusk and he could faintly hear the seagulls in the background.  
“Steven? You okay?”  
He looked at her then, Connie was still in the same position she was when...He sighed. He did it again, why does he always…  
“Steven?”  
“Sorry, yes I’m fine.” He checked his watch, 5:57 pm.  
“I’m sorry Connie.” He said running his hands through his hair.  
“It’s alright Steven, no need to apologize.” She was too good for him. He sat up and scooted a little off of the couch, mostly to give Connie some room, mostly to press his feet on the ground. After giving him a once-over, she set her phone down on the table and got up to walk to the kitchen. Her phone was now playing one of their favorite animes, the theme song blasting loud. She always knew what to do. Why did she always have to take care of him? He was too much for her. Too much of a burden. Too much to handle.  
He hadn’t noticed Connie placing something in his hand and a second later he was being zapped back into reality and noticed an ice cube on his palm. It almost hurt but he held onto it. He felt like he was being brought back, his brain becoming less foggy. He took a deep breath and smelled lemon and noticed Connie holding a half piece of the fruit close to his noise.  
“Wanna take a bite?”  
Steven considered it for a moment, and allowed Connie to bring it closer to his lips where he took a little suck. He scooted away immediately, the sour taste cranking his brain’s senses up to a hundred.  
“Better?” She asked, trying to hide a smile and he nodded, smiling too. As he continued to run the ice between his hands, he noticed one of his worksheets from therapy on the table. The one with different grounding techniques.  
“How’d that get there?” He said, pointing to the paper.  
Connie looked over her shoulder at him, placing the lemon down on the counter and filling two cups up with ice water.  
“Oh! You told me grab it about an hour ago...I actually should apologize Steven, it felt like you had fallen asleep on me. I..didn't know you were dissociating,” she said, walking back and handing Steven his cup, worried  
Steven shook his head, "No, no it's okay" he smiled and put his ice cube in the water and took a sip, taking the time to focus on the cold.  
He took another look around and said, “...what...what exactly happened?” He became aware again of the anime still playing in the background.  
Connie paused the show and sat back down. “Well, around three o’ clock you mentioned something was bothering you and sort of curled into me. And you stayed that way for an hour or so. Then, at about four-ish you mumbled something about checking your watch and I guess that's when I realized” she sighed, disappointment showing across her face, “I’m really sorry Steven, I should’ve known.”  
“No no Connie really, it’s okay. I’m okay, I feel better now.” Steven rubbed her back and smiled at her who in turn tried smiling back. After a while, with reassurances that Steven was okay, they sat back down to continue watching the anime.  
Steven tried hard to stay present. Something was making him feel..he ended up looking at his watch to check his bpm. “When did you get the paper?” he asked, shaking his head.  
Connie looked up at him and searched his face, pausing the show. “About 4:30. I asked if you needed me to do any of them and you said to wait a little longer….do you need some ice cubes again?”  
Steven felt his face get hot. Embarrassed. Embarrassed about needing her help. Embarrassed at not remembering anything. Embarrassed that this kind of thing happened.  
It happens though. He knew this. It was one of his symptoms that was caused by whatever he was going through and it was okay. Once he dissociated for an entire therapy session. Once it was a whole day. He remembers Amethyst telling him how he had walked around the house like a zombie and how it wasn’t until Pearl tried to feed him when he “woke up”. He remembered how angry he had gotten...that was okay though. They had forgiven him and he had forgiven himself. It was okay. This happened.  
“I don’t..no. No I don’t, thank you though,” He sighed. Connie rubbed his arm and gave him a small smile. “Do you want to keep watching the anime? Or do you want to go grab some food? I’ve been craving a donut lately?” Steven smiled back at her and nodded, standing up and following Connie outside.

He could still feel the spacey-ness but felt more clear, especially with the sea breeze and some salt water hitting his face. He was here. Walking along the beach with Connie. He felt the sand coming into his sandals. Heard the seagulls squawking and the waves crashing. He could smell the sea salt and the donuts up ahead. There was still a bit of lemon taste in his mouth. He was here.  
He grabbed Connie’s hand and he could see her smile.  
“Hey Connie?” Connie gave him a small ‘hmm’ eyes following a seagull that had stolen some fries. Steven took a breath, “Thank you for always taking care of me. Especially during right now. I know how hard I can be to deal with...so thank you. Thank you so much.”  
Connie stopped then and stared at Steven. He tried his best to look her in the eyes.  
“Steven..you never have to apologize. Not about this. I will always be here for you, you know that right? Just like you are always there for me.” Connie gave another one her sweet little smiles and Steven couldn’t help but relax his shoulders.  
“I know, but..I messed up our binge watch of Under The Knife, I was basically gone for like three hours, and we were supposed to hang. To enjoy ourselves, and I just zoned out for some weird reason for a long-”  
“Okay Steven hold on, let me stop you there.”  
Steven clamped his mouth shut and stared down at his now sandy feet.  
“Steven,” she said, lifting his face up with gentle hands, “In your defense, we both should've read the summaries before watching some of those episodes.They were a bit much. I was beginning to feel weird too..all that drama..ugh..” they both let out a giggle and she took a deep breath placing her hands on his shoulders, “And I’m happy I was there with you during that, checking your heart beats, listening to you when you spoke, being there for you when you needed me. I’d rather be here with you when you feel this way, than you by yourself.”  
It was Steven’s turn to let out some air.  
“I know..The gems say the same thing when this happens. And my therapist has been saying that I’ve been getting better at recognizing when I feel it coming, that I just need to practice grounding myself more. But I still feel bad…”  
“I know...Hey, how about we hang out outside for the rest of the evening, hmm? Like a date?”  
She smiled up at him and something in Steven told him to kiss her. So he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and leaned it against hers with his eyes close.  
“I would love that. Thank you Connie. Thank you for being here. I love you.”  
Connie wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a small peck on his lips before resting her head on his shoulder. “I love you too Steven.”  
They hugged for a moment longer, feeling the ocean waves against their feet. It was going to be high tide soon. 

That night, Connie and Steven spent their evening on the boardwalk, participating in Beach City’s nightlife. It was fun. They ate a combo of donuts and veggie pizza, shared a s'mores milkshake, played some duo games at the arcade and talked for hours at the public beach. When Steven finally dropped her off they ended up staying in the car a lot longer than intended, smiling and giggling at each other and kissing every so often until Connie’s father finally came out hands on his hips. She thanked him for the wonderful night and he thanked her kissing her one last time, before she left the car.  
He waved to Mr. Maheswaran and drove back home the goofy smile still on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Something short and quick :) Thanks again for reading!


End file.
